It’s Our Anniversary [Echo:] It’s Our Anniversary, Anniversary
It’s Our Anniversary [Echo:] It’s Our Anniversary, Made For You And Me
And I’ve Only Made Plans To Hold Your Little Hand It’s Our
Anniversary [Echo:] Anniversary
The Pleasure’s All Mine Cause We Have Seen Good Times It’s Our
Anniversary Victoria Won’t Be No Secret At The End Of The Day
It’s Our Anniversary
A Small Cup Of Tea To You And Me It’s Our Anniversary
All I Really Want To Say My Darling Today Is A Special Day We Call Our
Own So Take Me In Your Arms And Hold Me And Tell Me You Love Me
And I’ll Be There For You
Do You Know What Today Is
Do You Know What Today Is
It’s Our Anniversary (It’s Our, It’s Our Special Day)
Do You Know What Today Is
It’s Our Anniversary Made For You And Me
Toni, Tony, Tone penned the best song for couples-Anniversary! I’m excited today because it is my anniversary. 15 years ago today, I
eloped married my best friend, movie partner, the guy I will spend the rest of my life with.
oh but this journey to this milestone have taught me so many things not just about myself but about my husband & the institution of marriage. Whew, marriage is WORK. There is so much that goes on in marriage that you MUST GROW and CHANGE to even attempt to have a strong marriage.
15 Facts you should know about marriage (and what I have learned):
1. Marriage isn’t all about YOU.- Marriage is about you & your spouse. You can’t be selfish & want everything your way & expect your spouse to be happy about not being pleased. Marriage is about compromising & sharing.
2. Blending a family successfully don’t just happen.- just because you & your spouse are in love doesn’t mean the kids (and other parents) will just fall in love with the idea of a “new” family. Wen blending a family, you guys must take the necessary steps, consistently, to build the family as a whole complete family. This will include letting the other parent know about your upcoming nuptials. This include reassuring the kids that they are not being replaced. This includes having regular family meetings to make sure everyone voice is heard. (Plus other things need to happen as well)
3. Dating your spouse is not just a phrase-with as busy as life can have you, dating your spouse allows for you guys to reconnect & slip away from everyday “life.” It took us a minute to understand & embrace this concept. We was running & running with the kids, the jobs & other outside responsibilities that we were like ships passing in the night. So when it came time for us to talk we didn’t know how to in a loving manner. Oh that’s when date nights/date days came a priority in our marriage.
4. Submission is not a bad word. When I first was told & read Eph. 5:22, about wives submitting to their husbands, I was totally against being someone “slave.” That was my ignorance to the meaning of the word. Once I realized that this scripture doesn’t mute my voice, opinion or worth in this marriage I was more apt to understand more about it. I realized that submitting to my husband was actually me respecting him as my husband, allowing him to lead as the man of the house & me putting him first.
5. Conflict doesn’t mean my marriage is over nor does it mean my husband don’t love me anymore- conflict mean that we are focused on “our own wants and feelings” that we are neglecting to understand our spouse wants and feelings. Conflict has actually made us stronger and more aware of what is really happening. Now we are able to recognize when we have overstepped the boundaries when it comes to communicating.
6. Open, honest & frequent communication is a MUST!- as I stated, at one time we were ships passing in the night. So that meant things I was feeling (and he was feeling) was being all balled up inside. So when we did talk it was like a volcano erupting. We was able to start having open honest communication by implementing regular dates. See #3.
7. Mood swings/PMS is havoc on a marriage- I suffered from PMDD so monthly my husband didn’t know how to deal with me because he (nor I) wasn’t sure what my mood would be minute by minute. Once I understood what was going on with me we were able to handle the mood swings better. I had to learn my body & temperament to even be able for him to know how to deal with this illness.
8. My husband isn’t a mind reader- what do you mean he just don’t know what I want? Yep I had to learn the unspoken words are not heard. Holding my spouse accountable for the things I thought he should automatically know don’t work and isn’t fair. Again, the open, honest frequent communication eliminates the hurt from my husband not meeting the expectations I set for him.
9. Be flexible- my spouse & kids may not do what I have planned when & how I planned it. I had to learn its ok not to be so rigid with a schedule. It’s ok that dinner is not eaten everyday at 6pm. Being flexible in marriage & parenting eliminates a lot of stress.
10. When money gets low, the libido gets low. Oh in my fairytale marriage, I thought nothing would keep me from having sexual relations with my spouse (besides the monthly visit from Aunt Sue). Was I totally shocked to realize that when I would stress about a bill (or even the kids) I wouldn’t be in the mood. Overtime, I have learned not to stress about the finances or the kids. I pray & let it go. Sex in marriage is about connecting and building a bond. It goes way beyond than just an orgasm. Once I realized that it was (got) easier to relax my mind and focus on connecting & sharing in physical activity with my husband.
11. Pick and choose my battles- everything is not worth WWIII. As I grow in age & in marriage, I want happier days instead of more days where I won a heated argument. Trust me there will be days that you will get what you want without even trying!
12. It’s really good to laugh often with your spouse- if y’all can laugh together need of you will be uptight & tensed. Laughing not only is fun but you guys are bonding. We laugh & share fun stuff all the time.
13. Over time, our love stop growing but will pick back up and grow again- yes in marriage you will fall out of love with your spouse. Well you think you have fallen out of love because you guys are so busy that the intimacy & connection is lost in the hustle & bustle of everyday life. But in reality you haven’t fallen out of love, you have just pushed your emotional connection to your spouse to the back of EVERYTHING else. That is why #3, #6, and #9 is so important.
14. Prayer/relationship with God is important-well it’s important for me & my family. This relationship helps us when things are good & when things are not so good.
15. Enjoy every moment with your spouse- tomorrow isn’t promised. The one time I thought my husband wouldn’t make it through surgery & I wouldn’t have him in my life, I realized that every moment is precious. Love easily and forgive just as easy!
Over the last 15 years, we have been on top but also on the bottom. We have went from a houseful of kids to being empty nesters. The emotional roller coaster of getting older could sink the average couple but we made it through.
15 years of growing, loving, and bonding has made our marriage what it is today. If I had to do it all over again 15 years ago (or even today) I would!
What have you learned from your marriage over the years? Share in the comments below.