Millions of Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown fans tuned in to the Lifetime biopic, Whitney, recently. The movie was slated to be about the life of Whitney Houston; however, the movie was more about the rise and fall of Whitney and Bobby marriage. Now we all think we know everything there is about their tumultuous marriage but there is so much more to this marriage that we are missing.
“Sometimes we love a person so hard that we love them wrong”-Bobby Brown
Whitney and Bobby story, marriage, test or whatever you want to call it definitely should be viewed as a teaching moment. Marriage is hard work. It is so important that those entering marriage enter it with the mindset that NOTHING or NO ONE will become more important to us than our spouse.
Addictive behavior is one of the most destructive behaviors a marriage will face. Addiction as defined by Merriam-Webster dictionary is “an unusually great interest in something or a need to do or have something.” This definition covers a multitude of actions. You cannot be fully committed to your marriage and your addiction. Please understand, addictions make the person devote all their energy, time, and money to seek the fulfillment of the addiction. So if your time and energy is going to anything and/or anyone else besides your spouse, your marriage is in trouble.
As in love as Whitney and Bobby were their addictions meant more to them than the love they had for each other. Love is not all you need to keep a marriage alive, healthy and growing. You need commitment, attention, and prayer! Marriage + addiction = you need more than YOU to help you stay in your marriage but most importantly get rid of the addiction.
Without real help and the wherewithal to be committed to the process of getting clean and giving your marriage 100% unaltered version of yourself, you could find yourself in a Chinese restaurant being served divorce papers like Bobby Brown. There comes a time when you have to love yourself enough to say ‘ENOUGH IS ENOUGH.’
Marriage cannot save you. You can only save yourself.
Bobby and Whitney could have been a power couple but with the distractions of outsiders, drugs, media, and their own demons they gave the power away. Destructive behaviors doesn’t lend itself to a strong viable healthy marriage or person. Something will fall by the wayside and not be nurtured. Don’t let it be you or your marriage.
What do you need help with? Ask for it and seek it out! You are worthy of a life free from addiction and your marriage needs you to be free from addictions.
Books to read:
How to Let Go and Let God by Regina Baker
Addiction and Grace: Love and Spirituality in the Healing of Addictions by Gerald May
Robin (Masshole Mommy) says
It’s a real shame what happened to her, but addiction has effected my family personally and I know how hard the struggle is.
Debbie Denny says
You are so right. They could have been one heck of a power couple. You can’t split yourself between marriage and addiction. Must give all to your spouse.
Regina says
Very sad to see a couple that was on top, fall so far. I really enjoyed their music.
Mama to 5 BLessings says
I was saddened when she married him, she was at the top of her game and then unfortunately she started following his ways and it resulted in divorce and death. So sad.
Lindsey Silvestrini says
My husband has struggled with Nicotene addiction our entire marriage and I agree, it can be a marriage killer! It takes a lot of commitment and dedication and never giving up no matter what.
Jen says
I’ve seen some incredible people consumed by addiction. It’s important reminder to let those close to us know that there is help available.
lisa says
Marriage is hard enough without the extra hardship of addictions!
Shauna says
I remember following their relationship for years and just being devastated every time she gave in to the downfalls. Thanks for sharing this story
becca says
this was such a sad thing to see. A love story gone wrong for sure. We lost a beautiful voice in whitney.
jenny temcio @dapperhouse says
I have heard of many marriages break up due to one or both partners dealing with various sorts of addictive behavior. Addictions certainly can take priority over relationships. Hopefully strong marriages can overcome these issues.
Kelly Hutchinson says
This is such a tragically sad love story. I think they were really in love but so messed up.
Rosey says
I was hoping to catch that one on TV. I saw it advertised. I guess i missed it. You’re right though, sounds like it had some teachable moments.
Lois Alter Mark says
So sad. Terrible what addiction can do to a person or a relationship.
Heather says
It’s quite sad when addiction takes over a person’s life.
Stacey- Travel Blogger says
Addiction is such a hard and sad thing to discuss. I can’t imagine the strain it can add to a marriage.
Liz Mays says
Whitney was one of the most talented singers I’ve ever heard. I’m still sad about that situation.
Amanda Love says
I have to admit that I haven’t seen the biopic but now I do want to see it. You’re right, love alone isn’t everything, you do need commitment and lots of it to make your marriage work
Close to Home says
Such a sad story. Whitney Houston was such a talented woman yet had so many struggles.
Janeane Davis says
Marriage really is a relatationship unlike any other. Addiction makes it an almost impossible road to stay on.
Krystal says
I enjoyed watching them together even though it was a trainwreck! It was hard to tell what was real and what was the media.
Laurie - Steals and Deals for Kids says
Wow!! Totally agree with this article! And the world is full of addictions…..cell phones, computers, facebook…..are they more important than real relationships? NO!! Thanks for such a great article!
Kristin says
If your marriage doesn’t help uplift you, it’s not working in my book!
Becca Wilson says
What an eye opener into what love can really make us do. Thanks for sharing this story with us.
OurFamilyWorld says
Addiction is not something to take lightly and in this situation it was probably the downfall of them both as they were so in love with each other. Great article!