Was it easier for you to date your spouse during courtship as boyfriend and girlfriend, than it is now as husband and wife? Do you often feel like you and your spouse, though in the same house and place, are in different mental and emotional spaces and don’t feel connected like you once did? Are you tired of a boring marriage?
If your answer to any of the above is yes, then I bring you good news … Date Nights!
It doesn’t matter if you’re newly married or married for long, married with little ones or empty nesters, every healthy and thriving relationship especially where both of you work and live demanding lives needs iincorporating date nights into your lives which plays an important role in the success of keeping the relationship. It is easy to lose the romance of your marriage through the years.
A Redbook survey of readers found that 45 percent of couples “rarely” have date nights. A mere 18 percent said they manage to go out around once a month.
It is easy to come up with excuses to not go on dates as well.
Excuses I have heard: can’t find a babysitter, don’t want to leave the kids, our work schedules make it too difficult, and there are many more excuses couples give as to why they don’t have regular date nights. Let us imagine marriage as vehicle, no matter the model or manufactured year, the car needs an engine and good tires to run efficiently. You and your spouse are the engine while date nights are the tires. Why?
Date nights keep you grounded to each other. It reminds you of where you started from, it re-ignite the fire of your passion. Date nights improves marriages, according to common sense and a comprehensive, quantitative study conducted by the National Marriage Project at the University of Virginia. The study showed tremendous improvements for the married couples who went on frequent dates across categories such as happiness, commitment, communication, parenthood stability, and community integration, businesses, careers and general well-being. The evidence also showed that married couples who devote time together at least once a week not only have lower divorce rates, but also increase the perceived quality of their marriage. That is enough evidence to start dating your spouse more!
Simply put, date night is about connecting with each other. Date night offers the needed break from the demands of everyday life. It’s a time to set aside on your to-do list to focus on each other. To listen one other, express affection for each other and to feel closer to your spouse.
...and you simply feel like connecting to each other requires a lot more energy than while you were dating. Going on date night in this situation, reminds you why you began the crazy and fun journey of marriage, the many reasons you chose your spouse. It serves as a gentle reminder that I chose you and I still choose you, especially those difficult moments of adulting, it says I see you and am here for you no matter the path we have to work. .... more than we are aware of or even acknowledge. Date night serves as a time to unwind and relax as it DOESN'T include the kids, relatives or friends. NO ONE … JUST THE TWO OF YOU! NO PHONES (except it's the source of music). This ensures concentrating on each, leading to open and improved communication, you discover more about each other and connect on a deeper level. It is an opportunity to discuss common fun interest, plan adventures, talk about your day, work, challenges and basically just talk to each other. Date nights are intentional, designed by you for you, so it allows you explore ideas or the bucket list you wrote but never got to before life happened. Date night ideas can be set to be humorous and adventurous, thereby making it a deliberate attempt of removing distractions and having fun with your best human. Sex and romance are often times the most affected by stressREASONS WHY DATE NIGHT IS GOOD FOR YOUR MARRIAGE
1. Life often gets busy and chaotic
2. Stress affects our love life and relationships
3. Allows you to concentrate on each other
4. Being Intentional with your actions
5. Brings the Sizzle Back
in relationships. Regular date nights means de-stressing meaning more romping in the sack. Date nights improves "couple hood" and fosters more stability in the relationship while fun with the significant other so why not indulge.
Date night is an essential of marriage, because couples in all stages of marriage need quality one-on-one time. While date night alone will not guarantee a satisfying marriage, it is yet an investment important to the well-being of your relationship to nourish and care for the health of your marriage. As absurd and difficult it may sound to start now after so many or few years of being married, in reality it is way simpler, it is so simple you can start tonight, remember how you enjoyed dating each other before marriage, now you get to enjoy dating while married.
Tweaking how you guys approach the idea of date night will be beneficial on an individual and a marriage level. The goal is to intentionally spend as much time together as possible, irrespective of how busy life gets, so any activity that keeps you spending time together is a win and you should totally go for it. I can’t wait to read about your many date nights adventure!
Thanks to our guest author Andrea Ekpenyong for this great reminder about the importance of date nights. Make sure you follow Andrea on Instagram, Twitter and/or Facebook.
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