Last night at bible study, Bishop Stephens talked about excuses. He said that EXCUSES are a cowardly expression which seeks to release you from obligations and responsibilities. Read that statement again and again because I know many like me did not think of excuses in that manner.
As Bishop was sharing the lesson last night, I couldn’t help but think about the manner in which we use excuses in our marriage. Yeah, I know you thinking, “I don’t use excuses” but think about it. Have you made a statement to get out of doing something that your spouse asked you to do? Yeah, you know you just didn’t feel like washing the clothes today or cooking dinner, so you made a statement [excuse] for why you didn’t.
Ok, those are simple examples but let’s talk more in depth. Sex!
How many excuses do you make when it comes time to connect intimately and physically with your spouse? Have you said I’m not in the mood for sex? Didn’t we just have sex last week?
Why all the excuses? The marital bed is one that should be enjoyed by both, the husband and wife.
My thinking process is we use an excuse not to have sex because that is the only action in our day we [think] we have the option to say NO to but do we really have that option?
Connecting intimately and physically with our spouse is not something that we can [toy] with and negate. We have so many other things in our life that we have to take care of that when it comes to having relations with our spouse, we easily say NO or not to night.
Is that fair to your spouse? Is that fair to your marriage? Remember this: Habitual excuses are mismanagement of life.
We must learn to have a balance in our life. Just as we plan to eat, sleep, and shower, we must plan to have sexual relations with our spouse. (Planning can be an actual scheduling if needed or just the mindset to make it happen)
Rationing sex or NO sex can and will cause dissension in your marriage. Sex is needed by you and your spouse. Yeah your day is full with the kids, work, church, and any other [excuse] you can name but not connecting with your spouse in a sexual manner is not an option.
We are sexual beings. Truly evaluate the reasons you are not willing to have sex with your spouse. No I didn’t say think of the excuses of why you are not having sex but the [true] reasons.
Make it your goal to connect physically with your spouse. I mean no one is that busy or that tired that they cannot & will not have sexual relations with their spouse. (but you know the frequency of sex is something you and your spouse must agree on)
If you have not read my post about 7 Days of Sex, please do. If you have not watched the show, please do. Really take the time to evaluate how you approach sex and how your approach or lack of is affecting your marriage.
How many excuses have you made just his week?