Baby boomers are getting older. Children are all grown with their own children. Oh my, what is it for the Baby Boomers to do? Well seems like they are taking the opportunity to divorce each other.
Grey Divorces are increasing each and every year. Just yesterday, it was announced that Rhea Pherlman and Danny Devito were divorcing after 30 years of marriage. YIKES! 30 years!
Why the increase in Grey Divorces?
With Baby boomers mostly the wife stayed at home with the babies and the hubby worked. During that time, there wasn’t much of a bonding and quality time spent between husband and wife. They focused on the family, as a whole, and maintaining a home for the family.
So do you see anything wrong with the approach taken by couples during that era? Yes, I do to. They didn’t focus or nurture their marital bond/foundation instead they spent their time focusing on other things that didn’t make them ONE.
This attitude and/or actions CANNOT happen if you want to live happily ever after TOGETHER!
We will grow older, kids will leave home, our interests will change; however, if during these processes we are connecting, communicating, and consistent with our spouse then we could eliminate the feeling of drifting apart.
We must change the attitude toward divorce but most importantly, we must change the attitude towards marriage.
We get married and in the early years, we wouldn’t dare do something without our spouse or even share our happiness with our spouse. Why do we stop sharing? Why do we stop caring? Just WHY?
It really saddens me to hear about these types of divorces.
Ways to safeguard against Grey Divorces:
- Put your spouse first (of course behind God)
- Set aside time to spend together DAILY-even if its just 10 minutes. Those minutes are crucial and beneficial to your marriage.
- Give each other ME time-you need time to spend with yourself or your buddies/girlfriends. Interacting with others will definitely help you appreciate your marriage/homelife
- Communicate-yes I mean you will have to talk to your spouse. Don’t wait until the pot is boiling over to talk about things that are happening with you. Share your happenings with your spouse as they are HAPPENING! Your spouse is your biggest supporter.
- Find a hobby to do together-start a project that you guys can do as a couple. Rebuild a car, plant a garden, start being world a traveler and snapping pictures of all your adventures. Find something that interest you both and do it TWOgether!
The most important thing you must remember is you are not separate in living you are ONE, so don’t allow space between you and your spouse when it comes to connecting. Stay connected; build a solid foundation that you will be able to enjoy in your GREY years!
What are some ways you and your spouse are preparing for your GREY years together?
Michele says
I was so shocked when I heard of their divorce. It is so sad and I have to admit that I am guilty of not taking the time to nurture my relationship. It always seems as there is not enough time in the day to meet all of the demands that are placed on us. I am going to try to carve ten minutes of my day to just communicate with my spouse so that when my little ones leave I won’t wonder who I am sharing my house with.
Maggie Fluke says
I’ve read other articles about this latest phenomenon in the divorce world, and I can’t imagine what they’re thinking. I’ve been married 37 years now, and I can’t imagine leaving my husband or him leaving me. Everything we’ve done together and been through together during our decades-long relationship has made us more in sync and closer. I don’t believe we ever did anything very special to maintain our relationship, and we certainly never had date nights and all the other stuff these articles say are necessary to a long-term marriage. We just made a commitment to each other in the beginning and to each of our children when they were born, and we’ve forged our own brand of happiness.
Still Dating My Spouse says
Maggie,
I’m sure you guys did spend some quality time together. After 37 years, you guys did and are doing something special to maintain your marriage. It may not fit in the box that the articles you have read gave, but you definitely are doing something to maintain a marriage after 37 years. I commend you guys for the longevity.
Thanks for stopping by,
Pamela