“Letting Go” isn’t an easy task but something we must do! This week I’m opening the flood gates. Yes, these posts will have you thinking and reevaluating your circle, your actions, and your motives.
Today, it’s all about the kiddies.
When you got married, it was you and your spouse. You guys were inseparable. You spent every moment you could together and if you weren’t together you were talking on the phone.
What happened? Let me tell you: KIDS!
We love the kids. They are definitely heaven sent but as parents, we extend our duties base the cutoff date.
Kids are to be a blessing to any relationship but when every waking moment, every action, every conversation is about the kids (whether it’s about the toddlers, tweens, teens, or adult children) there is a problem.
Follow me on this one: when all of your waking moments are consumed with the “kids” stuff when do you have time for your spouse, for yourself, or for your marriage?
Now, don’t get me wrong, we are definitely responsible for our kids from conception until they reach the legal age of adulthood; however, we must not allow the kids to be a source of dissension in our marriage.
Something to ponder: If you are constantly having “heated” conversations with your spouse about the kids and the lack of quality time you two are spending then you do not have a balance.
How to find balance:
- Set aside time that is only “adult” time. No kids
- Train your kids to respect Mom and Dad time
- Be consistent
- Once the kids are of “adult” age, “let go” and reclaim your independence
- Don’t be so hard on yourself. Be flexible in planning
Find a balance and find a balance IMMEDIATELY!
Letting go of the children is a hard task and an even harder request. Hey, but remember you married your spouse for eternity. God gave us our kids on loan. Their loan is revoked once they reach adulthood, so don’t forget to nurture your marriage even while the kids are still at home. They [kids] will grow up and leave.
Don’t get caught behind the eight ball and find yourself trying to figure out who this person is you are married to once the kids are gone. Enjoy each and every day with your spouse (and kids) but find a balance to manage both relationships.
What steps will you take to find a balance and strengthen your marriage?
John Wilder says
Far too many moms get stuck in the mommy track and forget the wife track to her own detriment and to her kids detriment as well. Thanks for giving women everywhere a heads up.
Jhenny says
Our marriage is very important and actually, there are a lot of things we need to make sure so that marriage will be strengthen always..
Still Dating My Spouse says
John,
Yes women forget about being a “woman” or “wife” once they become a “mommy.” We cannot forget to be sexxy and sensual for our spouse. Thanks for stopping by.
Pamela
@COcouples Jeremiah Dahlen says
It’s not just moms either. Lots of couples get stuck avoiding problems in their marriage by focusing on parenting.
Thanks for giving this the attention it deserves!
-Jeremiah