Letting Go…. Hmmm when you hear those words you probably shaking your head and saying yep Let Go, but it’s not as easy as saying the words.
We are always talking about the mother who needs to let go and allow her son to grow up and be a man in his marriage, but what about the child who won’t let go?
We need to stop and think about the fact that most mothers/parents only do what their child allow them to do.
Start shifting the blame where it belongs: with your spouse.
Husbands and wives get your mother/father out of your marriage. You cannot have a happy marriage with the third party is someone other than God. Mom and dad have their own marriage, life, and/or relationship to tend to and your marriage should not be one of them.
Remember God said “a man shall leave his father and his mother and cleave to his wife. “ This statement is so important that it is mentioned three times in the bible: Gen. 2:24, Mark 10: 7, and Matt. 19:5.
If God repeat this message three times, why are we having such a hard time leaving and cleaving?
How to make the transition from mom/dad to wife/husband?
- Begin by having a heart to heart talk with your mom/parent. Reassure them that you do love them and will always be their child.
- Let your parent know that they are not losing a child they are gaining a son/daughter through your marriage.
- Try not to make any drastic changes to any family “traditions” right off. Ease your parent into the new “traditions” that you and your wife will start for your family.
- Try to include your spouse in some of the conversations just so your parent doesn’t think that your spouse is making you do this or exclude them.
- Start a new tradition that only includes you and your parent. Give your parent a special day or a special thing that only you two do. This will not be Christmas, their birthday or mother/father day. Pick another day/time of year and just have that special bonding time with your parent.
You must take the initiative to head off any bad blood between your spouse and your parent. You love them both but remember when you get married your first priority is your spouse and your household.
Don’t forsake your spouse for your parent. That is not how God intended your marriage to be.
How can you make the relationship between your parent and your spouse easier?
Women Are Gamechangers says
That’s the hardest thing people must do. I know I had to teach myself what it was, how to do it and why it was important. I’m not married but this concept applied to friends and family who were just toxic in my life. But I also agree that holding onto the hurt, anger or pain is completely unhealthy. If you truly want that person to be in your life, then it’s up to you to let those toxic emotions go.
michele d says
Great post! Your amazing, love reading all about relationships. 🙂
Still Dating My Spouse says
Thanks Michele!
Pamela