We are a complicated species when it comes to love. We love hard and we love differently. Today, in the Love Series, Caroll, LoveDesignLife, and I will discuss how our moods affect the love we give & receive. In marriage, we are so stressed with maintaining a house, the kids, a career that we allow the daily tasks to interfere with our mood. You must learn how to control your ‘mood’ about love and being loved!
LoveDesignLife: This is quite a curious question would you not agree? In the last post we learned that love is in fact a learned behavior. However, you would think that when love is available to be had, we would all stand up and say, “Yes please, I’ll take some of that, thank you very much.” And why not, love is a beautiful thing right? Well, till it’s up to you to give it and it is not returned. You see some of us do have moods when it comes to love mood swings to be exact! Simply put, does your love depend on your mood swings triggered by the thought of an unrequited love? For many of us, yes it absolutely does especially when you only just learning to give love.
Knowing that you should love and even learning about the things that impede this process is great, but putting that theory into practice can present some issues. After all we are human and we do have human frailties. Just because you know what to do and why you must do it doesn’t always mean you are ready to do it each and every time especially when you have learned that it is not always returned. However you must know this, someone who loves based on their mood does not love at all. Loving is sacrifice. We shouldn’t love only when it is convenient or when we are sure we are loved back, that is simply affection. It’s when it is difficult to give love that love really means something. If you find that you experience this, then it is quite possible your heart is missing something, that unconditional self-love. The self-love you must learn to give yourself will fill up the emptiness you may sometimes feel in your heart, the emptiness that tells you if you are not loved back then you are not worthy of love. This can definitely halt your loving mood. Once you feel fulfilled by the love you give yourself, you will feel free to give love, at anytime and to anyone, because you do not feel that you are lacking or missing anything. Whether that person stays around and builds the relationship with you or leaves, it will not cause a mood swinging, spiraling shift in your life. You will assuredly know that you are still just as lovable and deserving as before this person came along. This is the basis for building a fulfilling marriage/partnership.
Still Dating My Spouse: Building a fulfilling marriage/partnership, would require you to remove your own “selfish” desires from being the deciding factor to be in the mood for love. When you love based on a mood, you are expressing conditional love. Loving your spouse only when it is convenient or to get your way, isn’t sacrificial loving it is a love that is a determinant to your marriage. Your mood sets the atmosphere for the day in your marriage. Your mood, negatively or positively, will affect how your spouse will interact with you.
Love is a learned behavior and you must train yourself to recognize when your moods are not only crippling you but also your marriage. Take the steps to identify the triggers. Instead of allowing your mood to affect your marriage/life negatively, surround yourself with things that energize you and that you are passionate about to lift your mood. Just think about it, it’s hard to be moody when you are doing things that you are passionate about or hearing things that make you happy. This happy mood will spill over into your interactions with your spouse.
When you are able to get to that happy place in your life, you are more enthusiastic and feel better about yourself and your marriage. Remember, the more you give the more you will receive. But if you don’t love yourself, I mean truly love yourself, not some ego driven praise of yourself that is empty and only full of false bravado, but love that comes from acceptance and self-worth, you will be in no position to give love.
Don’t limit love! Don’t limit the love you have for SELF! Don’t limit love you have for your spouse! Love has no limit. Don’t stifle the love you have for self and your spouse due to the scare of unanswered love. Love is a continuous emotion that you must not be controlled by mood swings. Decide NOW that you want to experience true unconditional love in all aspects of your life; so when love is available to be had, you will stand up and say, “Yes please, I’ll take some of that, thank you very much.”
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Caroll Atkins author of the “lovestyle” blog LoveDesignLife and Pamela King, co-author of the blog Still Dating My Spouse, have come together to pose deep, thought provoking topics to help you uncover areas in your life that may need attention in order to help free you mentally and emotionally so you can be available to experience that love you so deserve. Please take a visit over to LoveDesignLife to get more info on how to Design Love to Date Spouse from the single person point of view.
Notorious Spinks says
This is so true and w/ our emotions going every which-a-way we have to be observant of how we’re treating others that we love. Great food for though here. More so, we must recognize when we’re changing moods and consciously work to get through them in a positive manner.