We are 13 days from the start of a new year. This is when folks, me included, begin to start thinking about what we would like to accomplish in the new year, setting goals and resolutions. With setting the intentions for your life for the next 12 months, don’t forget to plan and purge things in and for your marriage. We focus so intently on material and self that we sometimes forgo the marriage.
[pullquote]“Have nothing in your houses that you do not know to be useful or believe to be beautiful.” – William Morris[/pullquote]
The new year brings about so many possibilities but just like every year, we never give ourselves a clean start because we fail to purge.
Each year after Christmas, we take on the daunting task of cleaning out the attic (you know it was destroyed trying to find all the Christmas decorations) and getting rid of stuff that we haven’t used in the year. We make three piles: donate, throw away and keep. We do this to make room for our blessings coming in the new year.
This purging doesn’t just happen with the material things we have, we also reevaluate our marriage. Our yearly marriage purge is a process where we get rid of things that have been stumbling us in our marriage. This is where we take a transparent honest look at our marriage over the last 365 days.
The purge helps us to be clear on what we need to keep (doing), donate (remix), and throw away (stop doing).
Keep: These are the actions that were positive for our marriage so we will continue to do those things.
Donate: This column is the things we need to remix. Remixing means there is something that works but parts of what we were doing didn’t work so we need to change the things of those actions so it is a benefit to the marriage as a whole.
Throw away: Well you guessed it: these things were a determinate to the marriage and must be STOPPED immediately.
10 Step Process to a Better Marriage[/highlight]
- Fellowes Power Shredder (We use a shredder because its easier and less mess.)
- Begin with prayer..ask God to be with you and your spouse as you proceed with the cleanse. Help you guys to be transparent but understanding and to remove any negative thoughts, words, and action from you!
- Decide who will talk first.
- Discuss the items that troubled you about your spouse/yourself. Be as honest as you can be but don’t browbeat your spouse.
- The spouse that is listening: write down the things that your spouse is sharing with you.
- When your spouse is finished sharing, discuss ways to improve and be honest & transparent with them on why and how.
- Repeat steps 3-5 with the husband/wife (whomever didn’t go first).
- Once an acknowledgment and agreement has been made, began to tear up the papers you wrote on.
- Together, place the torn pieces into the shredder. Once you place the papers in the shredder, you agree never to bring the mistakes, bad words, past issues up again. You guys are starting with a clean fresh slate.
- At this time, say another prayer and thank God for the openness and the opportunity to correct the things you are doing that bothers your spouse.
- Now Kiss
- Pour a glass of wine & just enjoy this time together!
Please share your thoughts and reactions to the Marriage Purge! I would love to hear them.
Fellowes 79Ci Shredder is a security level-3 cross cut shredder intended for small scale shredding jobs. The 79Ci is a jam proof and super quiet shredder. We use it to shred our personal mail as well. It is perfect for a home office. The shredder is quiet and easy to use.
Disclaimer: I won a shredder from Fellowes during the Type A conference; however, all opinions are mines and wasn’t influenced in anyway.