Photo Credit: Essence Magazine
Per Pew Research, 90% of all people on earth have a mobile phone. So to bring that statistic closer to home, in most marriages, both spouses have a cellphone. So it is fair to say that in marriages, there is the husband, the wife, and cellphones. The sad thing is most people “live” with, must be by their phones and for their phones. This intrusion of “smart phones” into our lives leave little to no room for personal one on one connection.
I truly understand how important it is to have a cellphone and be connected to the internet and social sites but I also know how hard always being “on” the phone and checking up on whats going on with your friends online can be damaging to your marriage/relationship. I am one that wakes up and check my emails, facebook and any DMs that I may have gotten while I was sleep. My business is an online business so yes I’m “stuck” to my phone.
It is so easy to keep your head down and thumb on the screen of your phone. Our cellphones have kept us connected to the worldwide web but its keeping us unconnected to our marriage. Why is this? Why are we so quick to look down & give “outsiders” our attention but fail to be quick to give our spouse our attention?
Connecting to Your Spouse vs Connecting to the Internet
July is National Cell Phone Courtesy Month, founded by author and internationally recognized etiquette expert Jacqueline Whitmore in 2002, with the intent of making cell phone users more respectful of their surroundings. In honor of National Cell Phone month, I think its important to address the importance of unplugging from your cellphone to plug into your marriage.
With the advancement in technology, you must be cognizant of the time you spend online versus the time you give your spouse your undivided attention. Many of times we blame technology and the advancement of smart phones as the culprit to the demise of marriages but that is not true. The real culprit to the devastation in marriages are the people in the marriage. The cellphone is a means but you have control over how much time you devote to that tiny device.
It is so important to set boundaries when it comes to cellphone usage when you guys are at home and out on a date/spending quality time together. Boundaries are set to encourage face to face communication and allow for you and your spouse to bond without extra distractions.
Whitmore provided some great tips for cellphone usage while on a date:
- Be all there: When you’re on a date, your spouse should take precedence over any calls or notifications from your social sites.
- Ask permission: If you must take out your smartphone while on a date, always ask permission first. Something like, “Do you mind if I take out my phone to…?” Once you complete the task, make sure you put your phone away.
- Learn to vibe. Use your wireless phone’s silent or vibration settings in public places so that you do not disrupt your surroundings or your conversation with your spouse.
Golden Rule: Put people first, technology second.
Cell phones and the easiness of connecting to the internet is just another form of distraction Satan will use to divide marriages. Everything has a purpose and a place. Make sure you use discernment when it comes to allowing anything or anyone to come between you and your spouse connecting and building a strong marital foundation.
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