A few days have passed since Kanye West & Kim Kardashian announced their engagement. First and foremost, congratulations on the engagement. That is noble of you guys but let me tell you don’t enter into marriage to make a mockery out of it. Marriage is a lifelong commitment & to achieve this goal, you must decide to die to self.
Most people have a misconstrued notion about marriage and celebrities are notorious for making a mockery out of marriage. Marriage will not fix your past and/or your personal issues. Marriage isn’t about finding someone to complete you instead you should compliment your spouse. Marriage is about discipline. This discipline calls for you to build an infrastructure that no man can invade & destroy. To build upon this infrastructure, you guys will need to die to self.
Kim, I know you have danced around the marriage tree before so please understand what you are entering into this time. Understand who Kanye is now and who he will be as your husband. When you stand before God & all your celebrity friends, understand that you are agreeing to be committed to Kanye through all his antics, the good, the bad, and even uglier times. Marriage is work. It’s not about the flashy clothes, it’s not about keeping a perfect body, and it’s not even about fitting into your swimsuit.
Please understand that your marriage will face hardships and you may feel like the best recourse is to run, leave, and get a divorce, but I’m here to tell you that is not your only choice. You must decide now that you are in it for the long haul, not 72 days. This thing is not a joke. Marriage is not to be used as a publicity stunt. It’s not to be taken for granted.
Don’t wait until you are married to start working on your relationship/marriage. The work starts NOW!
Keep in mind, Marriage is about:
- dedicating your life to better you guys as a couple & individual
- Its about supporting each other through thick and thin
- Understanding that every day will not be sunshine
- Sticking through it for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, till death do you apart.
- Leaving your parents and others & cleaving to your spouse.
- Not having divorce as an option
- having a daily commitment to improve on yesterday
- Setting boundaries
- Loving each other unconditionally
- A covenant made to God
I suggest that you guys get some married mentors: Bill & Camille Cosby, Denzel and Paulette Washington, John Travolta and Kelly Preston, James Todd (LL Cool J) and Simone Smith, Tom and Rita Hanks or you could even talk to me & my husband.
Marriage isn’t for the weak at heart. I hope you guys are entering this period of your lives with your eyes wide open & commitment in your heart. If not, I plead with you not to enter into something that I, and millions of others, love, respect & hold dear.
What would you tell Kim and Kanye if you had a chance?
Photo credit: Just Jared
Brittany says
I love this! Your words are so true. Marriage is hard work but it is so worth it to be with the one you love. I pray that they both have really found true love in each other and are not just entering into this covenant under false pretenses. I also hope that they seek counseling before the marriage so that they both understand the commitment they will be making to each other and God. I am rooting for them and I hope that their marriage will be a long lasting one.
Evie730 says
Girl. This was good! What!
Debra Westbrook says
Great post. My husband and I have been married for 38 years through joy, sorrow, pain, laughter, grief, excitement, expectation…..everything you can imagine as you have written above. Yet, after 38 years I look at this man and love him for the simple reason that he loves me, just as I am, challenging me to grow each day as I do him. 🙂
Paul B. Taubman, II says
Many people think that marriage is a passing fad that they do as they please. I remember when marriage was a commitment that people stuck to.
I really enjoyed your graphic – so true!
Paul.
Bonnie a.k.a. LadyBlogger says
I don’t like to see anyone having babies before marriage, especially celebrities because it makes that seem “mainstream” for the rest of us. Would I rather they not marry at all? That depends on if they’re going to marry and divorce quickly…Marriage should be a serious commitment–and so should having children.
WILLIAM O'TOOLE says
I think marriage is something most people just take for granted.. That’s why they get married more than once..I thought it was for a lifetime… Does that exist anymore?
Cindy says
I think, Kanye and Kim are past the point of deciding if they were ready to commit to each other. They should have decided that about 14 months ago, before Kim got pregnant. They now need to figure out how they are going to make that relationship work before it hurts their daughter.
Cindy
http://scribler.us
Amar Naik says
nice open letter. hopefully they read it 🙂 happy UBC.
Ellen Christian says
I’m not sure anyone understands what marriage really entails until they experience it. Commitment to work out problems is one of the most important things.
valmg @ Mom Knows It All says
I completely agree that marriage is not for the weak of heart.
Samantha says
i wouldn’t tell them a thing. what can one say to crazy that will matter? blah.
Vaneese says
This is good. As someone entering into marriage VERY soon (less than a week), I’m definitely taking this to heart. Even in our 6 year co-habitation, it didn’t dawn on us until recently that involving others in our relationship would be our downfall. Hmm…lesson learned. Your site will undoubtedly be a go-to for my (soon-to-be) husband and I. Thanks!!
kim says
Let’s just see how long it last. I just hope their baby grows up with lots of love and good support from families.
Brett says
Sound advice. It’s not just celebrities who seem to feel like marriage is disposable these days.
Danielle @ We Have It All says
What a great post, love this!
Still Dating My Spouse says
Vaneese,
Thanks for stopping by & congrats on the upcoming nuptials. Oh yes ma’am outsiders are called “out”siders for a reason. Stay connected to your spouse & remember to date often.
Still Dating My Spouse says
William,
I think it exists just on a smaller scale!
Still Dating My Spouse says
Love it Debra! Thanks for sharing your 38 years with us. We should be able to look at our spouse & still get excited that they are our spouse!
pammypam says
i wish them luck. they’re gonna need it.
Joyce@MommyTalkShow says
Great post. More folks than Kim & Kanye need to read it.
Maybe your husband can do a follow-up directed just to Kanye. The brother has a short fuse and he’s going to be her THIRD husband. There’s something he’ll need to get used to about that.
He’s been engaged before too and didn’t make it down the aisle.
From the outside looking in – this just looks so messy.
Janeane Davis says
I don’t pay attention to celebrity news and thus didn’t have any thoughts about this couple’s upcoming wedding. I have been happily married to the same man for 23 years and have learned to keep my views on marriage away from people who treat it like a joke. It is sacred to me, but I understand it is not that for everyone, to their loss.