Think about this: what if you planned your marriage with the same intensity you had when planning your wedding?
Remember all the planning & asking all the important questions to ensure that your big day was a success!
If we would just use that methodology toward our marriage a lot of the surprises wouldn’t be surprises.
How to plan for your marriage:
Talk with your potential spouse about:
1. Finances-How do they view money? How much debt do they currently have? How much money do they need to be happy?
2. Inlaws: how involved do they wish for their parents to be in the marriage? Are they willing to build a foundation with you without the input of others?
3. Children: Do they want children? How many children? What are their views on discipline & education?
4. Childhood: talk in depth about their childhood. Get a clear understanding of what their childhood was like. This will give you a view of who they are & [maybe] what they think about certain situations.
5. Religion (if you are the religious kind): what is their faith?
6. Pet peeves: talk about the little annoyances that make the hair on the back of your neck stand up.
7. Job/career: how do they view working? What career goals do they have? Do they have a work ethic?
8. Counseling: would they be open to premarital counseling?
So, you didn’t really talk openly & honestly about those issues before marriage but NOW here you are in marriage facing a few of these issues. So NOW what?
How to plan your marriage from this point forward:
1. Finances: grab a pen & paper & have an open calm decision about your finances. What can you guys do to get to where you want to be financially. Set some realistic goals.
2. Children: to have/not to have. Be honest about how you feel on this subject.
3. Discipline: talk about your view of discipline. As parents, you must be united on how you will raise & discipline the children. Construct your family own way of raising & discipline the children. (if no discipline then let that be a joint decision)
4. In-laws: share with your spouse about any incidents where you have felt uncomfortable about the in-laws involvement in the marriage.
5. Counseling: talk about getting outside help to assist you guys in tackling the issues you are unable to compromise on.
6. Take a problem solving class together. Learn how to problem solve problems to help eliminate the heated arguments.
Overall, take each issue and talk openly about whatever it is that is causing hiccups in your marriage & devise a plan of attack against the hiccup.
Most negated the opportunity during dating to explore these topics but it’s never to late.
Educate & prepare your marriage for success. It’s NEVER to late to plan for your marriage.
What are you doing NOW to plan your marriage (success)?