Tuesday, I shared with you the Bible definition of what Love Is. I know if you were anything like me, 1 Cor 13: 4-7 stepped on your toes as well. I always thought I loved the correct way, but after reading and studying that passage I have made some changes to the way I love my husband.
I am 13 years in marriage (14 years together) and I have seen my love and appreciation for my husband change throughout the years. We all go through different phases in marriage.
4 Stages of Marriage (according to SDMS):
Phase 2. Oh! I’m comfortable with you phase: This is the phase where you have put in a few years, work and children have taken over your lives and you guys are pretty much just coexisting.
Phase 3. Transitional Phase: This is where the kids are getting older, you are getting older, you are celebrating double digits in anniversary years. You realize that you have a spouse and they still make you laugh but where did the years go. You realize that you miss the time you spent in the Electrifying stage: laughing, having fun, and sexing it all the time.
Phase 4. Oh, I love you more than when we got married phase: is the complete circle phase. At this point, you guys have been through so much that you could write a book. You truly appreciate each other differences and work together to uplift and support your marriage. This is where the love gets deeper and deeper by the minute/day/month/year.
I must admit, I think we were in Phase 2 forever. We were passing each other in the hallway daily because we were so focused on making sure the household was functioning properly and we each had a role in making it run smoothly. We neglected each other physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
Oh but when we got in Phase 3, it was like fireworks going off. I think I woke up one morning and looked at my spouse and said [or thought] oh my, he is still here, he must love me! I knew from that point forward that I needed to nurture our relationship and spend time building up our marriage foundation again.
Growing in [agape] love is nothing easy and there will be trials and tribulations; however, if you start building a solid strong foundation in Phase 1, you will add to that foundation little by little in each phase.
We must recognize that each phase is a transition and relative to each couple. Each phase will take us through all the attributes of Love described in 1 Cor. 13: 4-7. How we deal with each transition will either stunt our love growth or give it a growth spurt.
We must understand and appreciate that love grows through the showing of affection. Make it your resolve to physically show affection to your spouse through hugs, kisses, hand holding, etc. Also, tell them how much you care for them and be that lover/partner/wife/husband/friend your spouse need at all times.
Be mindful that what you nourish and water will grow. When you are going through the different phases, don’t focus on the issues, the have nots, or the shortcomings in your marriage; instead, focus on the positives that are happening all around you, focus on the commitment you made and rely heavily on God and the foundation you have laid.
Let’s not forget the need to communicate, physically connect (sex) our spouses, date our spouse, and spiritually grow together as a couple these actions are extremely important.
Growing in love with your spouse can be done but it takes work and determination!
Which phase is your love [marriage] in right now? Name something you are doing in your current phase to grow and deepen your love for your spouse. Share with us in the comments.
As always, we are grateful for you stopping by SDMS, we ask that you share this post with others via twitter, facebook, google + or email.
P. S. We are currently in Phase 4!