Now you guys know, I love watching TV series and movies. Well, this Thursday night was no different. If you have followed me for anytime, you know I’m always watching shows that has a message in their for marriages. Welp, Scandal is always full of messages for marriages and last night preimer of Season 4 was no different. I will not do a full recap of the show. If you would like to get a full recap, check out Zanzibar Does Exist! Olivia Pope Is Back!! Bow Down!!!. This writer does an excellent job recapping the full episode.
What stood out to me is, Mellie depressed state.
Mellie and Fitz eldest son died at the end of season three. The show left us wondering if the son lived. Would this unfortunate event pull Fitz and Mellie back together closer and in love as husband and wife? Welp, the answer is NO it did not pull them closer.
Fitz, of course, has thrown himself back into full fledged President role. He really has no choice but to continue doing his job. However, there comes a time that you must grief and grief properly. Since Olivia is not in town, Fitz hasn’t cheated on Mellie. So we could say that he is trying to be her husband again.
Mellie on the other hand has taken the death of their son very hard. As most mothers would. Mellie has forgone the daily chores of bathing, getting dressed, and proper eating. We see Mellie spaced out, eating cereal out of a box, and see even told Fitz that “the shirt she had on was only two days old and the panties she was wearing just came out the dryer.” Mellie is in a serious depression.
Fitz, Cyrus, and Red (Abby) are tip toeing around Mellie and not addressing the elephant in the room. I can understand them not knowing exactly what to say to her and how her reaction would be, but her condition must be addressed. Yes, everyone grieves differently and that difference must be respected.
How to help a grieving spouse
This situation with Mellie and Fitz is serious. They are both dealing with the death in their own way. Fitz hasn’t really dealt with it and with the return of Olivia, I am afraid he will return to her for comfort. Mellie has completely shut down. She don’t feel like a women, mother or even the First Lady of the United States anymore.
If you and or your spouse are ever faced with burying a child, remember these points on helping each other cope:
- Be patient with your spouse.
- Talk TO each other about the death of the child. Don’t bury your feelings.
- Don’t try to be strong for the other parent. You guys will be strong together.
- Understand that there are stages to grieving.
- Accept your feelings and know that they are ok.
It is so important that couples understand that each of them are dealing with the loss and will have different grieving episodes and each are allowed that. The most important thing couples must remember, THERE SPOUSE IS NOT THE ENEMY and they are there to support you during this time.
I thank Shonda Rimes for bringing this topic to mainstream because many couples face this challenge every year. Its not an easy one to overcome. Its not an easy one to handle together if you guys were divided before the death of a child. What I do know, God can and God will. Ask Him for the strength to make it through this storm together.
It will be interesting to see how this challenge plays out on Scandal. What are some tips you would give to grieving parents or even Mellie?
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