It’s not easy to tell if your marriage needs relationship help although others may notice it long before you. TheFreeDictionary.com defines unbreakable as impossible to break; able to withstand rough usage. This is exactly what couples pray/wish/hope and wish for in their marriage.
We are consistently seeing couples famous and not so famous struggling to keep their marriage vibrant and healthy.
So just what happened? What causes marriages to breakdown? Why are some marriages notwithstanding the rough [stages]?
Many of us know what the media wants us to know who Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom are. They are a celebrity couple: he a retired NBA player & she a socialite from the famed Kardashian clan. They married over 4 years ago and in today’s standards for celebrity marriages, their marriage was UNBREAKABLE. They even described their marriage as unbreakable and it looked like they would be able to withstand the rough stages; however, that wasn’t the case for them and many marriages.
Good Read: Open Letter to Kanye and Kim
They seemed, just like many marriages, to have it all together & happy. Having married your soul mate, your BFF, your lifetime partner, these should be happy times. Every day you spend with your spouse, brings a smile to your face. This is exactly what Lamar & Khloe demonstrated each time they were photographed. So what happened?
What causes a marriage to breakdown?
There are so many reasons a marriage [breaks]. First and foremost, a marriage must begin with a solid foundation. From what I know of their marriage, their foundation wasn’t solid. Their union was started from lies and deceit. Lamar entered into a relationship with Khloe while still in a relationship.
People, you must close one door before you enter into a new one.
[Tweet “Marriage is not about mess. If you start your relationship or marriage with mess, mess will follow you”]
Ok, sorry I digress….back to what would make a marriage breakdown:
- Ineffective communication: When marriages lack effective communication, the walls of the marriage are destroyed. [Effective] Communication is the glue that binds the marriage. Without effective communication, the husband and wife begin to work on an “individual” agenda instead of working together on the marriage agenda.
- Neglecting your partner: Your spouse should be your #1 priority (of course behind God). If you fail to be a service to your spouse needs, then you are being a service to either your OWN needs or someone else’s needs. Don’t allow a person, place, or thing to replace the attention you give to your spouse. Either way, the marriage will not survive if there is any form of neglect (mentally, physically, spiritually, and/or sexually).
- Not having a good balance: In marriage, you are working as a team and becoming one but you must have a good balance of your voice being heard & it must be respected in the dynamics of the marriage. Marriage is not one-sided; instead it should have a great mixture of you and your spouse. If you enter your marriage wanting to be the dictator, your marriage will break. Authoritarian marriage will seldom result in a happy healthy solid marriage. Remember you guys are in it together!
In Khloe & Lamar case, their marriage is breaking due to the “neglect” part. Lamar has decided that something else drugs is more important than his wife. Whenever, you allow something or someone other than your spouse to consume your time, you are deciding that your spouse is not important.
Good Read: 5 Facts About Marriage Everyone Should Know
As a spouse, we do all we can to keep, honor and support our spouse and I will venture out to say that Khloe has attempted to do just that. She didn’t run at the first sign of trouble. She didn’t run when he went missing for a time or two. She didn’t run when the first notice of infidelity hit. She should be commended for this because most would have packed up & ran at the first sign of trouble.
Marriage is about working through the rough patches. Sticking with your spouse when they are at their lowest; however, when your life or health is in danger, you have to make a prayerful decision about your marriage.
I don’t know if Khloe is spiritual but I would say she explored all avenues to support & get her husband the help he needs. As many of you know I am pro-marriage, so I was one of the ones that wanted them to work through the issues; however, I am also one that understands that when you have done all you can, you have to love them enough to let go!
At this point, we can only pray for Lamar & Khloe & all marriages that are seeking to have an unbreakable marriage but for some reason or another their marriage is breaking.
One thing we do know, it’s not the institution of marriage that is broken, instead the people who enter the marriage covenant that are the broken pieces.
Watch the video Lamar & Khloe did over a year ago about their cologne fragrance: Unbreakable.
What are your thoughts…..Please share below in comments!