A Federal government shutdown caused the world as we know it to STOP and to become disarrayed. The people of the US weren’t sure of what to do, how to act, or even if they would be able to survive. Ultimately the shutdown stopped all growth within the government.
Wow! Read that again…it sounds just like what happens in marriage when the “government” [husband and wife] stops communicating and working as a team.
So what did we learn from the government shutdown? Below are a few things we can learn from the government shutdown:
In any relationship (professional and personal), we must possess interpersonal skills. These skills, when tapped into properly, are essential to productivity in a diverse arrangement. There is nothing more diverse then marriage & the government. In our marriage, we are merging two different upbringings to bring about one common goal: Love and happiness as one.
Interpersonal skills are used daily in our communication & interaction with others. We can either use our skill to uplift or tear down those that we come in contact with. In marriage, we must promote the atmosphere of acceptance, confidence & trust; however, that don’t take place in some marriages & it definitely wasn’t the case for the government, i.e. government shutdown.
Just a few interpersonal skills that we witnessed that were broke down in the government: respect, openness to ideas, and active listening.
In any relationship, there must be a level of respect from everyone. As we witnessed from the government, neither side had respect. When we lose respect in our marriage, we cause the communication lines to close. Sometimes we fail to do little things to show respect and then our actions could be disrespectful toward our spouse or our marriage. Not resolving conflicts quickly will cause respect to be lost between both parties.
Respect is earned and not just given. Respect is gained and given by your actions. Being consistent in showing respects will rebuild the respect in the government marriage. The best way to make sure respect is in your marriage is to BE MINDFUL OF YOUR ACTIONS AND THAT YOU ARE SHOWING RESPECT. Do the little things, make sure your words and tone is respectful and NEVER allow anyone (including you) to disrespect your spouse.
Openness to ideas
When there is the joining of more than one person in a relationship, group, decision making, there must be a level of willing to share, willing to be open, and willingness to compromise. When everyone is only thinking about what they want it breaks down the communication and the relationship.
The powers at be failed to be open to other ideas & see pass their own ideas. How many times have this happened in marriages? When one side wants to be right ALL THE TIME, it belittles the importance of the other member of the relationship.
When tough decisions need to be made, make sure you come to the table with an open mind & the willingness to hear your spouse out. Share ideas, weigh the options of both ideas & then decide collectively what need to happen for the betterment of the family.
If you remember, that your spouse is your team mate & not the offense you will respect their views.
When you utilize active listening, you are not trying to formulate your answers or come back to what your spouse is saying. I can only imagine that the government officials were not actively listening when others were speaking. If they had, maybe we wouldn’t have had a shutdown.
Active listening is when you are listening to understand, comprehend, and learn. You cannot utilize active listening if you are talking while your spouse is speaking. Don’t try to over talk or out speak your spouse, instead listen intently with positive respect & openness to hear your spouse views, ideas, and feelings.
How to Safeguard your Marriage from a
Pay special attention to how our government officials interact with one another and make sure you do the opposite in your marriage. The government officials were elected to be a team & work for the betterment of the masses. In marriage you vowed to be a team & work for the betterment of the family.
The government shutdown should be the prime example of what not to do in your marriage. When you allow your marriage to shut down, you are not working for the betterment of the masses [the family] and that could lead to divorce. Keep the lines of communications open!
What are you doing to make sure your marriage doesn’t shutdown?
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Ellen Christian says
I think really listening to each other is very important.
I love it. And we chose this person that we are married to. The government may not be acting maturely at the moment, but it is a nice reminder to always act kindly to our spouse. We can lift up, or we can tear down. At the end of the day which makes everyone feel better. Thanks for your great post.
Vanessa Terrell says
Great post! I like how you related it to the shutdown…thanks for sharing!
Jennifer Williams says
Had not thought of the shutdown that way, honestly if my spouse ever acted the way that all of the representatives in the government did I would divorce him – no questions asked no way to fix it. I know that sounds harsh but if grown adults are not able to communicate in a way that is not going to shut down the family I am done because I will not put my kids through it.
What I do ..
Marriage it like ride going up and down, in my family we are trying to listening each other and you listed all the main points: respect each family member, understanding and support. ubc
Kristin Wheeler (@MamaLuvsBooks) says
Great lessons to learn! I was sad for my many friends in DC having to go to work without pay. I hope our government can get things on track and work together.
Jamie Knupp says
I’m not “married” per se, but my fiance and I have 2 children together and live together. We plan on getting married (one day) but haven’t made it there yet. All of your points are great – my fiance and I have a wonderful relationship because we communicate and compromise. Thanks for the great post!
Great reminder that we have to be communicating and listening! This is a really good comparison!
Crista Hebel says
We have to remind each other almost DAILY how important communication is, and not to shut down (I do it, he doesn’t). Thank you for the wonderful reminder again!
These are such interesting insights! At least the shutdown was good for something! 🙂
i hope that each and every member of the senate and congress reads this post.
Alyssa McVey says
We are continually asking each other how the other is doing. Sometimes we’re not always forthcoming with concerns so it helps to remind each other to communicate.
All great points to keep in mind. I love the comparison of marriage and government….especially when you say to do the opposite what the govt does in your marriage=) Thanks!
Dawn ~ Spatulas On Parade says
Great points. For marriage, relationships in general and yes our broke government.
Sabrina @seriouslynatural says
Great parallels. A relationship or marriage is just as important as a government.
Candyce Nicole says
This was an excellent read!
As I prepare to get married next week (can’t believe it!!), I know I’ll find tons of great advice on your blog. Looking forward to learning more!
Such an interesting analogy. I thought I replied, I remember reading this… I hope the comment takes. In any case, well done with this piece!
Heather McD says
I loved where you went with this post! I was expecting to read that from the title. I agree, there is a lot we can learn about the government shutdown. Communication and respect is vital in any relationship.
Arelis Cintron says
#truth it makes me sick how much money these people make and yet did they do their job? Perhaps you should send this to them to read over. Communication is so important in a relationship, government or marriage. Without it there definitely will be a shutdown as we’ve seen with the government. If we listened, truly listened this type of rift could have been avoided. May we remember this in our own personal relationships.
Still Dating My Spouse says
Congrats Nicole on the upcoming wedding. Remember to date your spouse often.
Janeane Davis says
This post reminds me of something I say to my children all the time, “you can learn something new everyday if you try.” Even with the problems of the government shutdown there is something to be learned.