You know that feeling you have when you wake up and you immediately say “It’s going to be a great day!” So you intentionally do things that will bring you joy or you look for the good in everything and everyone you encounter. Yeah, that’s what we call commanding your day but that only happens when you decide to change your mindset, i.e. your way of thinking!
See, changing your mindset is very powerful.
Our thoughts dictate our actions. Our thoughts dictate how we react and interact with our spouse. Our thoughts determine how we will feel in the moment, for the day and about our spouse.
Thoughts are powerful.
A mind is a wonderful machine but it must be a controlled machine.
[bctt tweet=”Your mindset can either uplift or tear down.” username=”datingmyspouse”]
The reality is, our mindset is shaped by our experiences from our upbringing and our past. So many of the actions (or reactions) we have in marriage is not based on the actual actions of our spouse but from the experiences we had previously. This is why it is important that you take control over what your mind thinks.
[bctt tweet=”Change your mindset to change your marriage!” username=“datingmyspouse”]
5 Ways to change your mindset
1. Change starts with you!
Understand that you are not forgetting your history; you are just letting it go so that you can move on & enjoy life where you are now. If you don’t let it go, YOU are keeping yourself caged in a time warp. God has more in store for you so let go of the things you didn’t do, the things you did wrong, and even some of the things you did right for that season and time in your life!
2. Prepare your mind
You must get your mind ready to digest new stuff, new beginnings, new habits, and new sayings. Take it slow and change one bad habit at a time. Replace old habits with new ones. I had to change my mindset from being a parent of young kids to being a parent of adult kids. To help me transition from one to the other, I begin to discuss adult things with my kids and ask for their opinion. This mind shift is a slow and steady accomplishment, not a quick sprint.
3. Change your thinking
Your thoughts frame your actions, emotions, and words. Stop thinking you are missing that void. Stop thinking you need “it”. Stop thinking you are not whole because “it” is not in your life any longer. Stop thinking your self-worth is based on “it”. Instead, say I lived that part of my life & it was ___________. I am thankful for the lessons it taught me or even the lifestyle it afforded me. With the new found thinking, you will be able to focus more on #2.
4. Involve your spouse
Allow your spouse in on how you are feeling. Your spouse is your support system and loves you! They will help you thru this troubled time. Let them in! Break down the walls you have up and allow your spouse in on why your actions are the way they are. You will be surprised at what you guys can accomplish together to help you make the changes you need to make.
5. Write yourself a letter
In this letter, write what you would tell your best friend about making changes in life to better themselves. Be honest with your friend and tell them why it’s important for them to change their way of thinking, acting and talking. Once you finish writing this letter, mail it to yourself. This letter will help you, just like you would help a friend, get over a stumbling block in their life.
Take it from me, a mindset shift will give you:
- A clearer mind to really love YOU
- A happier stronger relationship with your spouse
- Greater spiritual and psychological well-being
- Less stress and anxiety
- Freedom to find your new passion/direction/purpose
With anything new or any deviation from our normal life routine, would require us to transform the way we think and the actions we take. When we hold on to the old way of thinking it holds us captive in a time warp. It doesn’t allow us to grow spiritually, mentally, or emotionally.
Don’t cheat your spouse from having a spouse that is fully engaged and committed to the marriage. Release the stronghold the pressure of staying the “same” has on you and experience your marriage as you should: COMPLETELY!
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