At the beginning of the year, people make New Year Resolutions. They pledge to do better in life, on their job, & they will lose weight. Well, that’s all fine and dandy but what about your marriage. There is no need to carry into 2012, the same problems or issues you didn’t deal with in 2011. So lets deal with them & get rid of them.
We focus so intently on material and self that we sometimes forgo the marriage. All that will change today! We are embarking on an INTERNAL [MARRIAGE] CLEANSE!
Internal [Marriage] Cleanse WHAT is it? Glad you asked. An internal [marriage] cleanse is a process done by husband and wife to get rid of things that have been stumbling them in their marriage. The cleanse must be done together.
Items Needed:
- Spouse
- Paper
- Pen
- Matches
- Fireplace/Firepit/Grill
Internal Cleanse Steps:
- Begin with prayer..ask God to be with you and your spouse as you proceed with the cleanse. Help you guys to be transparent but understanding and to remove any negative thoughts, words, and action from you!
- Decide who will talk first.
- Discuss the items that troubled you about your spouse/yourself. Be as honest as you can be but don’t browbeat your spouse.
- The spouse that is listening: write down the things that your spouse is sharing with you.
- When your spouse is finished sharing, discuss ways to improve and be honest & transparent with them on why and how.
- Repeat steps 3-5 with the husband/wife (whomever didn’t go first).
- Once an acknowledgment and agreement has been made, began to tear up the papers you wrote on.
- Start a fire in the fireplace/firepit/grill
- Together, place the torn pieces into the fire. Once you place the papers in the fire, you agree never to bring the mistakes, bad words, past issues up again. You guys are starting with a clean fresh slate.
- At this time, say another prayer and thank God for the openness and the opportunity to correct the things you are doing that bothers your spouse.
- Now Kiss
- Pour a glass of wine & just enjoy this time together!
Please share your thoughts and reactions to the Internal [MARRIAGE] cleanse! I would love to hear them.
Related articles
- What is your vision for your marriage? (marriageisgood.wordpress.com)
- Our year in review (questions you can ask your spouse) (affaircare.com)
That was absolutely beautiful and I love that idea. What a great way to purge away things that don’t need brought up anymore through fire. Its beautiful.
Thanks Heather! I really think that sometimes we need to do things literally in order for them to take effect. Thanks again!
Pamela
What a great idea! I think everyone can use this!
What a beautiful post! I think that all marriages would benefit from this exercise. Actually, maybe even benefit from completing it a couple times a year. It’s so important to stay in touch with one another and be sure both of your needs are being met.
By the way, I love the title and feel of your blog! It’s so great! My husband and I have been married for almost 21 years and I can honestly say that we are “still dating” too. It’s awesome to have such a fun relationship and I wish all couples in America could enjoy what we have!
i got to try that at the end of the yr.
Please let us know when u try the cleanse, but you don’t have to wait til the end of the year. The cleanse is valid at any point.
Thanks for stopping by!
Pamela
Thanks Lisa. What a wonderful feat to be married almost 21 years. Congrats!
My dream is for more couples to enjoy dating each other & understand the benefits it will have on your marriage.
Please come & visit us often!
Pamela
Thanks!
Pamela
Definitely a great idea Pamela! If I could find one major thing wrong in my marriage it is that we both tend to throw things from the past back up in each other’s faces in moments of anger. It hurts both of us but most of all,it hurts our relationship. This is a very healthy way to get rid of that garbage and end it once and for all. I think we just might try this! 🙂
Wonder if hubby would go for this.
Thank you! We all have gotten mad and brought things up from the past. This is a way to get rid of them forever. Please let me know how the experience turned out!
Pamela
Pose it to him as a way for you to stop bringing up the things he hate to hear about LOL Please come back and let me know how the experience was for you guys!
Pamela
This is powerful!! I will be using this with the Anointed Wives!!! Thanks 4 sharing this.
Anointed Wives,
Glad you are able to use something with your Anointed Wives group. Thanks for stopping by.
Pamela
That’s an awesome idea!
I think it bears repeating… you can’t browbeat and after it’s resolved there, you shouldn’t continue to bring the issue(s) up.
Way better than breaking dishes!! 😉
Great idea, I think my husband and I will do this.
Patty,
Let me know how it goes. You guys will feel so much better about self and each other.
Pamela
I am going to be in the minority here. All though I agree with everything you are saying, personally speaking, I just do not think my husband would have the patience to sit through all that…….he has the attention span of a fly, unless it involves the x-box!
I have been trying to do the Love Dare (have you heard of the book?) great concept, I just need to find the time. I have been married for 5 years, but we did it the non traditional way, kids then marraige……which could be part of the problem!
Lol you are not the minority. You could always do the cleanse in stages. The point of the cleanse is to rid your marriage of things that are holding you guys back from growing! So do it how it fit your marriage.
Thanks for stopping by!
Pamela
I’m here via Flashback Friday. I love this post. In the early days of our marriage when we were working on getting our ways of communicating through problems in sync, writing (vs. talking) was the most effective way for us to handle conflict.
Your post reminded me of that, because it’s important for couples to remember that oral communication isn’t the only way to get your messages across to one another. The important thing is that couples keep those lines of communication open, even if it’s through writing.
Brava, Pamela!
Filing this one for future use 😉 Stopping by today via #FlashbackFriday
We just had our 17th anniversary, so this is definitely something we should do. 🙂
Stopping by from Flashback Friday on Chasing Joy. 🙂