After the fan fair and glamor of the wedding celebration, the wedding cake has been cut, the pictures have been taken, the honeymoon is over and you have gotten good use out of your wedding gifts… what can a bride and groom do to keep their marriage both HAPPY and HEALTHY? Incorporate the building blocks for marriage into their daily actions and words!!
Everything it took to “GET” the marriage…it will take that and more to “KEEP” the marriage!
Getting married at 18 (almost 19) was the easy part. Staying married the last 20 years has been the investment! The first part was fun and carefree. The second part (after the wedding day) has been making deposits and withdrawals and balancing the checkbook of life with a few hurdles or bounced checks along the way!
But it takes both the “good” and the “bad”; the “for better” and the “for worse”, that tests the endurance of the commitment made in the form of vows. Though challenging, it is more rewarding when you reach milestones and markers that show how far you have come. Celebrate your success instead of focusing aimlessly on the failures and refuse to allow them to derail your future progress. That’s how you build! One brick at a time!
Celebrate your marriage success instead of focusing aimlessly on the failures of your marriage. #datingmyspouse @datingmyspouse
Speaking of “building blocks” let me share this marriage acronym that describes what strong marriages are built on!!
Building Blocks for M.A.R.R.I.A.G.E
Matrimony: Your marriage is a holy covenant between husband, wife & God. When we marry, we take a pledge to be with our spouse, and them ONLY. (Matthew 19:5-6; Genesis 2:22-24) Keep it sacred and holy. If an indiscretion has taken place make the decision to forgive, never repeat that cycle, grow from it and move forward. Keep building!
Admiration: Always admire your spouse. The same things that you did to make each other fall in love while dating; continue to do that in your marriage but turn up that admiration! (Proverbs 31:10-12, 28-31). Your spouse should always be your “crush”. Remember how you treated your crush? Love notes, kisses, cards, gifts, your undivided attention, etc. Keep building!
Resilience: One of the keys to a successful marriage, is that both parties MUST be strong and resilient (able to bounce back!). If this is a quality that you lack, ask the Lord to help you with it. God will give you the strength that you need. (Ephesians 6:10; James 1:5-6) Keep building!
Respect: Always respect one another. Respect goes right along with love. It’s that vital quality that makes the husband feel valued and the wife appreciated. (1 Corinthians 13:4-7) It doesn’t mean you will always agree, but allow respect to be mutual. Keep building!
Intimacy: Always make time for quiet and physical closeness with your spouse. Set aside time for kissing, hugs and other forms of physical affection. A little goes a long way. Also, remember, INTIMACY, doesn’t START in the BEDROOM…but it can end up there! By the way you talk to, treat and deal with your spouse, starting in the kitchen, the living Room, the bathroom, through your acts of random kindness, give each other more to love! (Proverbs 5:15-19) Keep building!
Appreciation: As human beings, we enjoy being appreciated and a grateful spirit goes far. (Proverbs 31:28) Show your spouse that you appreciate them daily. Keep building!
Godly: Strive to be like God and work towards keeping your marriage Godly. Read the Bible to understand God’s view/expectations regarding marriage. (Ephesians 5:1-2) Pray together. Pray with your family. Make private time with God as well. Keep building!
Encourage: Always be the one that is encouraging your spouse. The Bible says in Proverbs 27:17, “As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.” It feels good! Tell him he is doing a great job providing for the family, assisting you with the children or chores, etc. Or accept his encouragement that you are doing well as a wife, or mother, on your job, with your craft or hobby, etc. Keep building!
Whether you have been married 20 minutes, 20 days, 20 weeks, 20 months, or 20 years, your marriage can WIN! It takes work but the benefits and rewards outweigh the labor. Giving of yourself and operating in love will always develop “richer and more excellent” fruit (John 15:2 amp) in your relationship.
After 20 years and 4 children, my hubby and I are still going strong, no looking back, no turning back! I hope this has encouraged you to do the same! Develop the will to win in your marriage! It takes two but now that the two have become one put in the work and reap those benefits! Let’s win together!!