Will she still be my sister?

Weddings are beautiful but often times we fail to think about those [left behind] once the new union is formed. 

There are siblings who must adjust to the new normal of having a married sibling. This is extremely hard to adjust or understand when the unmarried sibling is a child. 

How do you comfort your child to help them understand when they are so young?

What do you say when your child asks you, “will she still be my sister?”

My Daughter and son, circa 2007

As a parent with two sets of kids: an older set and a younger set, I’m faced with figuring out how to talk to your child about the dynamics of marriage and how he fits into his sisters new life. 

Me with my kids

Yes, I have a child old enough to get married, she’s 26, and I have an 11 year old.  My oldest was 15 when my baby boy was born. Their bond is amazing and I believe that’s why he is having a hard time with her decision to get married. 

Honestly, my first reaction was to just tell him “she’s your sister and always will be” but that’s not really what he’s asking. He knows she’s his sister but what he really wanted to know was “will she continue to spend time with him?”

Kids are conditioned to a routine and when their routine is interrupted, they get confused. 

So my baby boy was struggling with the fact that his sister [available] time will now be 100% with her husband. 

So what do you say?

I addressed the quality time issue with him. 

I helped him to understand that his sister will still spend time with him. They will continue to do the things they always have done together. 

I, also, helped him to understand that her new husband will be his friend and brother in law. So he’s not losing his sister, he’s gaining a new friend that will play XBox with him. 
You know until my boy asked me “will she still be my sister” I never thought about how the wedding planning and the actual ceremony would make him feel. 

I had to slow down and make sure I acknowledge my baby boy to make sure he doesn’t feel left out. 

His sister started talking to him more about the wedding. This helped him to feel more included. 

Plus, his soon to be brother in law, started hanging out with him alone. They had their own special quality time. 

It’s amazing how easy it is to overlook the effects life changing events has on EVERYBODY! 

I’m just happy we were able to help my son feel included and loved during this major transition in his life. 

Have you ever experienced this or anything similar?