What in the world am I talking about: Online Emotional Connection? In today’s society, internet usage, joining social media sites, and utilizing text messaging to connect with friends and family is growing like wildfire. We enjoy it so much that we rarely pick up the phone and call people anymore. We have gotten so bad that we use our friends Twitter handle as their names when we are talking to them.
Oh, social media sites are the “in” thing to connect and reconnect with friends and family. The problem arises when we devote quality time to talking to a “friend” we have meet online than using that quality time to spend connecting with our spouse.
An Emotional connection is easy to fall prey to because we get comfortable in thinking we are only “typing” words with someone we may or may not have seen, but that is dangerous. We tell ourselves, we are not violating our marriage vows because you are not physically having an affair, but you are emotionally separating yourself from your spouse.
As with anything in marriage, there must be a balance and an agreement as to how much of it will influence your marriage. Don’t allow social media sites to cause you and your spouse to question or assume something improper is going on with one of your friends, followers, or connections. Keep things open and be honest about your interactions online.
5 Ways to safeguard your Emotions online:
- Chatting: Unless, you and your spouse has an agreement with chatting with people of the opposite sex don’t use the chat feature online. Holding a private personal conversation with the opposite sex is similar to talking on the phone with them. This opens up the window to bond and inappropriate conversation. It may start off innocent but over time and feeling more and more comfortable with that person, you begin to share personal information about your life and marriage. This is an EMOTIONAL Connection. The time you use to chat online you can talk to your spouse and connect with them. Your spouse is your best confidant and should be the only one getting your personal attention like that.
- Disconnect: If your spouse is spending an awful amount of time online and unable to separate the reality of their “real” life from their “internet” life it’s time to have an open and honest discussion on what you are witnessing. Social Media should not consume over 50% of your available time. Once you can’t turn off the phone, internet, Ipads, etc. there is a problem. Always be able to disconnect from the internet and spend quality time with your spouse and family without having to “check-in”.
- Stay United: Remember social media should NEVER be used to air out your family or marriage dirty laundry. NEVER bash or say negative things about your spouse online. Doing so will only give “thirsty” men and women the okay to approach you “to fix” your marital problems.
- Unfriend: The unfriend link can be your best friend [pun intended]. You are not bound to be “friends” or “followers” with anyone. If you have someone that is on your timeline and disrespecting you and/or your marriage, you should unfriend them immediately. Never allow anyone to disrespect your spouse or your marriage not even in the virtual world.
- Exes: Be leery of accepting an ex as a friend. Discuss this with your spouse before you begin chatting and inviting an ex into your current life. This is a touchy subject and you should immediately advise your spouse about the request you have received and take your spouse feelings into consideration before you accept the friend request.
- Real vs Virtual: Your spouse is your “real” friend. Devote all the time you have available to connect with your spouse not to chat with a “virtual” friend.
Social media sites main purpose is to connect love ones don’t allow your actions and interactions on these sites to disconnect you from your family and spouse. Be responsible and respectable in all actions and this includes what you do on the internet.
Things to remember:
- Don’t allow your online relationships to become top priority in your life.
- Safe guard your heart and don’t allow what people type on the internet to influence your actions and reactions.
- Don’t allow a “friend” to be the main topic of your conversations.
Your virtual footprints will speak volumes about you and your marriage. What is your virtual footprint saying about you right now?
What are some ways you use to safeguard against an emotional connection with a “friend” online?
As always, we are grateful for you stopping by SDMS, we ask that you share this post with others via Twitter, Facebook, Google + or email.
Reconnect…Refresh…Renew Your Marriage!
Ellen Christian says
Great advice. It’s important to keep priorities straight.
Julie M. says
These are great boundaries to set up…especially in a Social Medial Filled World!! Thanks for sharing!
Melissa says
What a great post! I use social media all the time. I tend to over share sometimes and I end up regretting it. I have used that defriend button on many cases.
Katie says
Good Post
Vicky says
It definitely was well stated and common sense advice.
Kristen Jeffery says
That goes along with the Bible study we are doing, Great post
Carrie says
I totally agree with what you are saying. My husband and I are always trying to find the right balance and struggle with this as well. Great article – thanks!
Kristin W says
I never even think about going to chat rooms or talking to anyone I know online over my hubby!
Kristin W says
I never even think about going to chat rooms or talking to anyone I know online over my hubby!
Still Dating My Spouse says
Kristin,
That is great; however, there are so many that think that a chat is innocent and couldn’t cause harm. That is so far away from the truth.
Pamela
Still Dating My Spouse says
Carrie,
Just set boundaries together. Stick to those boundaries and the balance will be achieved.
Pamela
Still Dating My Spouse says
Kristen,
Wow thanks for the confirmation from God that this is the post he needed me to post today. Please share what you learn from Bible study with us as well.
Thanks!
Pamela
Still Dating My Spouse says
Melissa,
We all have gotten toooo chatty or comfortable on our social media accounts. Its recognizing the need to stop and stopping that is key. I love the new way we can unfriend people..right on their page!
Pamela