So umm yeah, I read a blog post where someone wasn’t feeling the I Love My Spouse challenge that is currently taking place on Facebook.
Now, just a little transparency, I haven’t participated in the challenge only because I’ve been too busy & I knew I couldn’t commit to the 7 days (yet).
However, the challenge is to showcase couples happy and in love, i.e. LOVE YOUR SPOUSE.
The challenge guidelines are simple: for 7 days share a picture of you and your spouse & tag other couples.
That’s the instructions. Short. Simple. Sweet.
Now, what I read is a wife who wasn’t against the challenge but had a problem with the beautiful, happy & [staged] pictures of the couples.
WHAT?
So, let me understand: you would rather see unhappy couples?
We see enough of that on the news, tv & even social media.
The divorce rate isn’t 45% for no reason. So we understand that everyday in marriage isn’t happy, beautiful & definitely not staged perfectly; however, instead of focusing on the negative it’s important that we celebrate the happy times.
Now, I did agree with the writer that EVERYDAY doesn’t look like most of pictures that people are sharing.
I actually liked the pictures she said would showcase for her 7 days.
However, what she failed to realize (or didn’t say), even after the late night feedings, the argument about getting lost, or the date night that consists of watching movies on the couch until they feel asleep, she still LOVES HER SPOUSE.
Yeah, I could easily share a picture of me & the mister giving each other side eyes or a picture of me mad with tight lips because he did something that irked the hell out of me, but I can’t & I won’t.
So if I wanted to be like the wife of the other post, my pictures would be this:
It’s not that we don’t have bad days. I don’t capture those bad days and allow those days to be a consistent reminder that we failed each other at a time or another. If you focus on the bad, you don’t have time, energy or room to enjoy the good.
Excuse me as I continue to enjoy people celebrating their love, spouse & marriage knowing that their marriage have had or will have hiccups. However, they choose to celebrate & focus on the good.
Y’all do know that no marriage is exempt from disagreements, uncertainty, & even an occasional “Who the hell did I marry?” thought. Y’all do know that right?
So if you know that, there’s no reason to show you the ugly. You live it.
We need to see more happy couples. We need to see couples that have reconnected after and during the troubled times.
We need a reminder that God is alive & working in marriages.
So, I commend the writer. I agree with her that everyday isn’t smiles and giggles but I’m headed to 18 years married in September and I know I’ve had more good days than bad. So in her defense, you could easily show the hiccups & show the togetherness/ love in the pictures. I just did in the three I showed but there is no need in an I Love My Spouse challenge to highlight the negative.
So excuse me for wanting to let my marriage encourage others that you to can celebrate 18 years of marriage if you stop focusing on the challenges & celebrate more of your wins (good days).
So y’all go ahead with the I Love My Spouse challenge. Let your marriage light shine because we know some days are harder than others but for the next 7 days, you will remind yourself of WHY you love your spouse.
Robin Masshole Mommy says
I’ve seen these in my feed for the past few weeks There sure is a lot of love going on 🙂
Pam Wattenbarger says
I’ve seen a lot of people doing this challenge on my feed lately. It’s a nice change from the usual sad and angry stories on Facebook.
Kelly Hutchinson says
I think you are 100% correct that we need to see more happy couples. I don’t give my husband enough attention. I need to really make a change in that department.
Catherine Sargent says
This sounds like a great challenge. I will have to do this with my husband if I can get him to cooperate with pictures.
Tara says
I haven’t seen this challenge yet but I like the idea of showing happy times as a couple. Sometimes we can take our spouses for granted and this is a great way to remember all the things that make your marriage a happy one.
Kristi says
I like your photos and the stories about what is happening… real life:) Thanks for that.
Kathy says
I think this is a great idea. I’ve seen a few bloggers doing this. I actually think I may do this too!
Audrey says
I love this!! Marriage is so much more than just happy pictures, this is all real life!! I love seeing all the happy couples on facebook this month!
Erica says
Agreed and well said!
Reesa Lewandowski says
I love the idea of the I Love My Spouse Challenge. You are so right that marriage has its up and downs but for those 7 days, find all of the reasons why you love that person and what you enjoy doing together.
Alicia says
I love seeing these “real” pictures. I think that it shows love for your spouse even on the hard days 🙂
Amanda West says
I’ve seen this challenge going around, but haven’t been challenged yet. Sad thing is for me, I’m not sure we really have a lot of photos taken together. I like your thoughts about this.. many different views around it.
Ann Bacciaglia says
The I Love My Spouse challenge is a great idea. I will have to share this with my married friends so they can do it.
Tammi Roy says
I would love to try the I Love My Spouse challenge. It is so important to focus on the positives.
LIz Mays says
Marriages don’t work on their own. They need tending and nurturing. A challenge like this is great!
Kim says
Child please, you missed the whole point of the article you referenced. She was not in any way shape or form saying she wanted to see unhappy couples and you probably know that. This sounds more like “I heard her but I want to market my marriage anyway and let ppl know it’s not fake in case they read hers.” Do you without telling others what to do. My marriage is happy/fighting/happy/fighting like everyone’s but like the woman in the article you referenced I am too authentic, transparent and comfortable with my life to post a false impression but also I am too private, composed and confident to feel like it’s anyone’s business how my husband and I live life together. I question the true intent of the challenge and personally believe it’s either an excuse to be nosey or someone wanting to advertise their marriage sideways. I’m too grown for that. So no I shouldn’t and anybody else that doesn’t want to shouldn’t because it’s beautiful to not have to prove its beautiful
Jen. R says
I JUST said this on a comment on fb. My husband and i have not had the most romantic,non-irritating relationship. However, i love him, and i hope when he sees the pictures, he knows that i appreciate him
janis says
I’ve actually seen this challenge on facebook a few times. I think that it is a really good challenge, I like it.
Elizabeth Lampman says
This challenge sounds like a great way to reconnect. I will have to give this a try and share this with my friends.
Tiki says
This comment is in reference to the Kim on August 4, 2016 at 12:51 pm “Child please, you missed the whole point of the article you referenced.” No, Ms Pamela understood the point of the other author and that author did state that she had a problem with the beautiful, happy & [staged] pictures of the couples. That’s perfectly fine, but the challenge was Love Your Spouse challenge. Yes, the pictures were of the best moments of couples. Yes, marriages have their fair share of challenges. However, that doesn’t mean we don’t love our spouses. That’s all people were doing…showing that they love they love their spouses, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until we are parted by death. More women participated than men, but that made it even more refreshing to see our men being celebrated. One of men’s most important emotional needs is admiration and/or words of affirmation.
Still Dating My Spouse says
Kim, I didn’t miss the point of the article. I was responding to the fact she felt like people were being fake. If you follow me at all, I have no need to market my marriage. My marriage is always on show. So I think you missed my point.
Still Dating My Spouse says
You are so right…we must work in and for our marriages and this sometimes include reminding us of why we love our spouse.
Still Dating My Spouse says
So true Tara!