It’s so hard to just let things go. Why do we think we need to know everything? Have answers to all the questions in our head?
In marriage, there will be a time or two that you and your spouse will not see eye to eye. The discussion can get heated & sway from the real issue.
With any discussion, there must be a point that you end the discussion but does the discussion really end?
Getting closure
Do you have to have the last word? Must all the myths of the universe be explained for you to drop a subject?
Closure is important but as individuals we define closure differently. As a couple you must do your due diligence to understand your spouse love language and this includes “arguments.”
Most arguments go on and on not because of the issue that started the argument but for an underlying issue that isn’t being met.
When something really small gets out of hand & turn into WWIII in your house:
1. STOP talking
2. LISTEN to what your spouse is “really” saying
3. ACKNOWLEDGE that you “hear” what your spouse is saying
If you are the spouse looking for closure:
1. STATE what it is that you NEED from your spouse
2. ACCEPT the answers given
3. STOP looking for something that isn’t there
Closure is important but to achieve closure, you must understand what closure look like to you. Have a point where you understand what you are digging for isn’t there. Don’t belabor a conversation because you assume more is needed.
Remember: LESS is more. Accept what is being said & done for you.
Is closure important to you?
Please comment below. We look forward to your response.
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Crista Hebel says
Closure is important for me in that I want to know my husband realyl heard what I was saying. Often I, or he, is waiting for the other one to finish talking to add our point, not really listening and so the conflict perpetuates. Good words of advice!
Sharon says
Sometimes being right is not nearly as important as being on the same page with your spouse. I try to remember that sometimes I lose more by winning than I do by giving in and forgiving.
Dawn says
I am bad for having to have the last word. I definitely need to work on that.
Dawn
Kelley Johnsen says
Great advice Pam. 🙂
Julia Potvin says
Yup, heal and move on or you will never make it together!
Kristin Wheeler (Mama Luvs Books) says
Great post! I hate walking around still being mad at things. I definitely need closure to move on.
malia says
Closure is important to me, and I often have to get the last word. I know it irritates my husband, but I can’t help it! I also hate when my hubby doesn’t answer my questions fully…he always seems to leave things out and gets annoyed when I want details! I know I need to try harder, and not let the small stuff bother me, It’s definitely not worth an argument.
Amber says
Very wise words to live by to keep your relationship strong!
Alyssa McVey (Giveaway Overload) says
Nitpicking is never the way to go. A marriage consists of two partners who are working together and going in the same direction. Same team, not competition.