Best friends forever is a term thrown around to signify that friend who is your ride or die chick/fellow.
When we get married we begin to rethink or realign our alliances to friends & whom should carry that title.
Immediately married folks would tell you that “Of course your spouse is your BFF.” That is true but does that mean you cannot have another BFF outside marriage?
BFF outside of marriage
Honestly, we all had a life before marriage and had friends. You probably have that one friend that was your sister or brother from another mother. Do you just get rid if them now that you are married?
My answer is no if…! The ifs are:
1. They respect your spouse
2. They respect the boundaries YOU set for them & your marriage
3. They respect they are not first in your life anymore
Sharing the title of BFF
Your spouse & your friend can be your BFF. The definitions & levels of friendship is different of course but you could definitely have them as friends.
Your spouse is your #1 BFF. You are building a life with them so you will share ALL of your ups, downs, proud moments & not so proud moments with them. This includes work, kids, spiritual, & marriage things.
With your friend, they will still be your ride or die, just like your spouse, but their level of receiving information will be different. You still will share your ups & downs but some of your marital issues will not be shared. Yeah yeah I know you share everything with your bestie but is that the best thing to do for your marriage & your friendship?
I posed the question on SDMS Facebook page and of course I got a variety of answers. One was: the bible said leave & cleave so this would include outside friendships as well. Well yep the bible did say leave & cleave but I don’t think God wants you not to have “friends.”
You must be mature enough to understand that outside friendships with your long term friends will & must change when you get married. They must be treated just like family, leave them out of your marriage!
Enjoy your spouse & keep your friends! Just don’t allow your relationship with your friends to overshadow your marriage.
How do you handle friends & your marriage?
Please comment below. We look forward to your response.
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amber says
Honestly the balance of friends and my marriage has never been an issue. We both have a few close friends each and that seems to work.
Jesica H says
I agree, my once best friends I no longer share everything with. Thanks for the great post!
Amber Trievel says
Well, unfortunately my “BFF’s” didn’t follow the if’s of marriage boundaries and I no longer have a BFF. Luckily, my husband still has two that are also married and completely understand the boundaries and are great! I guess it’s easier for other married folks to understand each other where as all my friends are still singe, no kid, party people who feel you can’t have a friendship with someone who doesn’t do the same. Their loss =]
Julia Potvin says
I have had alot of friends in my lifetime, before and during my 36 yrs of marriage, I believe it’s important to have relationships with others. But my bottom line has always been, “friends come and go family is forever”. Great post!
Missy Rogers says
Love reading your site but Its too bad getting the guy to read it that would be the hard part.:)
MELISASource says
Outside friendships stay exactly that way — outside. Lol 🙂 I love how you presented this topic! ~Thanks for sharing!
Jennifer Williams says
Life gets so crazy that sometimes friendships outside of marriage get left behind. I am lucky in that I have one great friend that we know if we do not hear from each other every week, we can pick up the phone and the other will be there.
Jessica says
It’s so important to set boundaries with your friends so they don’t end up hurting your marriage!
Sharon says
It’s def important to have friends as long as you have the right boundaries Good points! If I didn’t talk to my other friends occasionally my poor husband would go nuts lol There’s just somethings you have to talk to another female about that he doesn’t enjoy chatting about (what coupons did you use today? you mean that lotion is really that good??? Wow! What are you blogging about tonight? lol) Thank God for a great husband and good friends too!
Shayla Burks says
I love the thought of having my husband being my best friend; but girls are irreplaceable! There are things that my man wouldn’t understand or want to talk about, and vice versa! Thanks for the great reminder. 🙂
Isabella Grey says
You and your hubs are seriously the cutest!
Esther Cerecedo says
In my opinion I dont it’s healthy for a marriage to have an opposite sex bff. I think that family comes first and I can imagine the stress it would add to my marriage not for me.