When we promote the concept of regular dates with your spouse, it doesn’t come without the normal kickback of “first world problems.” We hear all the times why couples cannot go on regular dates and we hear you and respect every excuse you give; however, dating your spouse is not an option its a necessity.
Our marriage have gone through many phases and several phases a couple of times. When we first got married, we didn’t even realize what we were still doing was dating each other. We enjoyed doing different things together. It was second nature to us. Oh but then. as you know, life will hit you and you don’t know if you coming or going. There was a period that we were ships passing in the night only because we became career focused and not each other focused. I can remember the tension that was in the house during that period.
So believe me when I say, “I understand some of the obstacles when it comes to setting regular dates with your spouse.”
Obstacles to Dating YOUR Spouse
- Time: Time is the #1 reason we hear all the time of why dates don’t happen in marriage. We are all given the same 24 hours in a day. Make dating your spouse a priority. Dating your spouse doesn’t have to take hours but it must have your undivided time. Schedule your dates just as you would schedule a doctors appointment, a nail appointment or even an oil change. Take out your calendar right now and PEN in a 30 minute date with your spouse over the next 7 days.
- Money: Welp, actually money could be #1 reason but in actually it doesn’t take extra money to date your spouse. Dates don’t have to elaborate or break the bank. In actuality, money doesn’t have to come into play when it comes to dating because your dates can happen right at home or you can attend FREE events.
- Childcare: Finding suitable and responsible childcare is a biggie. If you are not comfortable leaving your children with family or friends, then plan your dates when the kids are sleep or at school. Its imperative that you don’t use the children as an “excuse” not to date your spouse. Your spouse will begin to think they are not important in your life. Read my post on Dating with Kids where I share different tips on how to overcome the obstacle of childcare.
- Spouse don’t want to date: How do you know your spouse wouldn’t go on a date with you? Have you talked about it or did you demand to go on a date? Truthfully, many feel that they don’t have to date their spouse because the ultimate date was when they married their spouse. Some feel like they are paying the bills and coming home every night that is enough. Well both of those thoughts are WRONG! Dating your spouse is continued process of connecting and getting to know your spouse but it absolutely help with making sure growing together. If you have a problem with getting your spouse to date you, start off slow. Date at home. You plan it. Put the kids to bed and enjoy a meal without the TV or phones. Take it slow and ease your spouse into it. Communicate with them about different things you can do together. TAKE IT SLOW. It will take time for your spouse to make this change if they have never done it. Be patient. Pray about it. Communicate calmly. Be patient.
Overcoming any obstacles take consistency and dedication. The same goes for creating a regular date schedule with your spouse. Don’t get discouraged. Also, understand the phase of your marriage you are in. A weekly date may not be possible for your marriage right now (work schedule or even a deployed spouse) but a monthly date can and should happen. Get creative. Think outside the box. Don’t allow obstacles to dating stop your marriage from growing and thriving.
How have you overcame the obstacles to dating in your marriage?