We are so excited about the new Dating n Love series on Still Dating My Spouse. Weekly we will spotlight a couple still dating and in love, i.e. Dating n Love. This week, we have the pleasure of sharing the love of an unconventional librarian, Pam Margolis and her husband, Howard.
I know one of Pam’s favorite quotes is: “and what is the use of a book,’ thought Alice, ‘without pictures or conversation?”
― Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland
Pam and her husband are writing their book of love with plenty of pictures and conversations. I follow Pam on Facebook and Twitter and their “marriage humor” that she shares is hilarious. They are definitely keeping the laughter and fun in their marriage. So yes, I am glad to share with you our first Dating n Love couple: Howard and Pam Margolis.
SDMS: What are your names (First names or Initials only) and how long have you been married?
Pam: Pam and Howard. We’ve been married 8 years. This is my second, his first.
SDMS: What were your goals for your marriage when you were engaged?
Pam: My goal was to have a nonviolent relationship.
SDMS: How have your goals changed since marriage? Or have they changed?
Pam: My (Pam) goals are the same.
SDMS: What is the one piece of advice you received that you still hold near and dear for your marriage?
Pam: None. I knew what made a marriage work, but I just needed a good man to work it with.
SDMS: What do you and your spouse have in common?
Pam: Howard and I are both introverts and enjoying having down time; even if we are alone in a quiet house together both of us reading, it helps us both recharge our batteries.
SDMS: You and Howard are of different colors and ethnicities. How did you overcome these obstacles?
Pam: We didn’t have to overcome much. Mostly his parents were concerned at first but they soon came around when they saw how happy Howard was. I’ve always had the color conversation my whole life and so learning about my husbands ethnic beliefs (he’s Jewish) gave me a way to study and learn more about him and take the conversation off of my own ethnicity.
SDMS: Speaking of religion, how do you handle that conversation?
Pam: I don’t attend church regularly nor does he attend synagogue regularly, except on very important holidays. We’ve learned to merge our traditions to accommodate the other. I will always believe in God but learning about his religion gives me a different perspective.
SDMS: How important is date night in your marriage?
Pam: We’ve found that a scheduled commitment makes it more work and less fun. Sometimes the best nights happen by accident when the kids are out of the house and we can spend a few hours reconnecting.
SDMS: When time is not available how do you and your spouse date?
Pam: He waits up for me when I get home from work late and waits for me to unwind from work; then we catch up. Sometimes its pillow talk but at least we reconnect for a few minutes.
SDMS: How do you maintain work/life balance?
Pam: We text and email during the work week since our schedules are different. I’ve learned to set time aside on Saturdays; that’s usually when he’s open to doing something together.
Thank you Pam for being a couple that understands the work that it takes to have the marriage you desire. Keep dating your spouse and sharing your humor with us!
Check out Pam blog, Unconventional Librarian.
If you would like your marriage spotlighted on our Dating n Love series, please send an email to firstname.lastname@example.org with the subject line: Dating n Love interview! We would love to feature you and your spouse!