Love Dare Week 3- Love is not Selfish
Be devoted to one another in brotherly love;
give preference to one another in honor. – Romans 12:10
Selfish as defined by Merriam Webster is concerned excessively or exclusively with oneself : seeking or concentrating on one’s own advantage, pleasure, or well-being without regard for others. More and more people of today are being more concerned with their own well-being & how they can get ahead on the backs of others. This attitude should not be part of a marriage.
Week one & week two of this Love Dare, was about Love is Kind and Love is Patient. Love and selfishness does not equate & will not give a positive outcome.
Honestly, we all have a hint of selfishness in us but its how you handle/control that attribute that will determine how it controls your life, your relationships, and your marriage. We can be really quick in pointing out how our spouse is being selfish but when they point things that we have done that are selfish in nature, we deny we are being selfish.
When a husband puts his interests, desires, and priorities in front of his wife, that’s a sign of selfishness. When a wife constantly complains about the time and energy she spends meeting the needs of her husband, that’s a sign of selfishness.
In marriage, we attempt to take good care of our spouse, who is imperfect, but we vowed to share our life with them. With the agape love we have our spouse, we overlook those flaws and stop pointing out all the things we do for our spouse. Operating for the betterment of the marriage and our spouse without putting our interests and desires before the well-being of our marriage, is a clear sign of selflessness.
Let’s be clear about something, if you do things for your spouse & your family “out of the goodness of your heart” but you “brag about them or throw it up in their face at any and all chances” you are being SELFISH. Do everything out of love not for ulterior gains/motives.
Real Love and Selfishness are not friends. So don’t try to do both & think you are being a good spouse.
If you have traits of being a selfish person, just remember that you spouse has it really hard because they MUST love a selfish person. So stop and ask yourself, could you love you if you were married to a person like yourself?
[pullquote] Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves.” -Philippians 2:3[/pullquote]
This Week Love Dare:
Whatever you put your time, energy, and
money into will become more important
to you. It’s hard to care for something
you are not investing in. Along with
restraining from negative comments,
buy your spouse something that says,
“I was thinking of you today.”
How did you show kindness last week? What have you learned about love from the first two weeks of this Love Dare?
What could you purchase for your spouse that would let them know you were thinking of them?
Please comment below and share how you are doing with the love dare & how you plan on showing your spouse you are thinking about them.
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Sabrina says
I have a twist for you…. Selfish is not Love – so run away fast!
Harriet Stack says
This makes a lot of sense. I’ve been on my own for the last 10 years and would hope that anyone lucky enough to be married to someone who loves them would treat them with kindness and be accepting of their imperfections.
Shawntae says
I just started this dare last week. I’ve done the Love Dare before but you explain it much better. I do feel that I am a kind person but I feel at times I need to be even kinder to my spouse so last week was a hard one but I did it. My biggest issue with last week’s “love is kind” was watching my tone with him and thinking about the words I use. I also had trouble with not complaining when he asked something of me that I didn’t want to do but that too I will continue to work on. This week will be less of a challenge because we both are very “giving” and surprise eachother with little “though about you gifts” often. My challenge to myself is to give something more personal then the little gifts that we normally give eachother.
Still Dating My Spouse says
Shawntae,
Thanks for joining us on this love dare!
Pamela
Arelis Cintron @DjRelAt7 says
My boyfriend stopped by with Godiva Chocolate, dark with sea salt, my favorite! I <3 him! I need to start doing the same… I'm a work in progress!
Shawntae says
This dare went really well for my husband and I. I started off the week by being more giving of my time and doing more for him without asking him to do back for me and I bought him these boots he has been begging for for years but we could never afford before. God has blessed me with an amazing job and I wouldn’t have the education to get it if it wasn’t for the support my husband gave me.
Still Dating My Spouse says
Shawntae,
I’m glad you are participating and seeing some positive results from the dare!
Pamela